Sacrifice, South Coast style

Nola Tucker of Kiama asks: “Is it time to take 2020 more seriously? Only August and so far in this annus horribilis we’ve had drought, bushfires, floods, a pestilence and now raging winds and rainstorms. It must be time to appease the gods. In the olden days, a good sacrifice did the trick. A virgin and a volcano helped. A modern touch might be to sacrifice a politician or maybe one of those blonde, Botoxed Instagram influencers. The publicity would be invaluable and the gods would surely be satisfied, if only to have a good laugh at humanity. Any other suggestions?”

“It’s cold here in the mountains!” says John Layman of Winmalee. “My wife had a chicken in the oven. When she opened the oven door to check on it, it pulled the door shut!” He’s here all week, folks!

“If Richard Stewart (C8) has been passing foreign coins, he really needs to make a small change to his diet,” reckons Ralph Davis of Wahroonga.

“In the 1960s, mum would take my younger brother and I to Parry’s Milk Bar in Rockdale,” writes Caron Pearce of Kyeemagh. “My standard order was a chocolate milkshake poured into a fancy glass from the aluminium container. My brother’s standard order was a lime spider (C8) without ice-cream … and nothing would persuade him otherwise.” Peter Craig of Alexandria also recalls a variation: “In the 1950s, when we went to ‘the pictures’ in the little town of Richmond, north Queensland (a re-purposed World War II aircraft hangar), we lounged on canvas-slung deckchair-style ‘seating’ and the refreshment of choice at interval was a sarsaparilla spider. Luxury!”

Marjie Williamson of Blaxland is “waiting for the special T-shirts, featuring the coronavirus symbol and the words ‘I know the rules, but they don’t apply to me’, so we can recognise who to avoid.” Keeping things viral, Tim Mooney of Mollymook Beach wonders if “it might not be long before one is arrested for not wearing a mask in a bank”.

“Further to Peter Riley’s concern of water diviners (C8), I was recently sent a number of advertisements from yesteryear,” says Don Thompson of Running Stream. “The one that caught my eye was for a tin of dehydrated water. The instructions read: ‘Just add a gallon of water and stir till dissolved’.”

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